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Post by MyTatuo on Oct 19, 2005 11:22:35 GMT -5
| So, anyway, Mr. Culp, about all the letters I've sent you about starring in my movie, "The Second Greatest American Hero?" I could give you top billing, if you wanted, but I would still have to star in it. As you can see, I look very good in re... Mr. Culp, are you listening? |
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 19, 2005 17:34:00 GMT -5
[ ] Bill: Ralph, do you see anything yet? Ralph: Bill, I told you I would tell you if I saw anything. [ ] Bill: Somedays working with you is like putting a zoo on the moon: Useless. [ ] Ralph: Oh yeah, you big buffoon in the goofy glasses! Why don't I knock you into the middle of next week? [ ] Bill: How are you gonna do that, Tinkerbell? Spray me with your fairy dust from your crash landings? [ ] Bill: Counselor, Ralph's being a baby again. Ralph: I am not. Pam (off-pic): Would you two quit clowning around or we are going to miss the eclipse?
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Post by MelMac on Oct 19, 2005 17:56:22 GMT -5
The next one will be based on a song. Bill: Tell her "Your eyes are as green as spinach." Ralph (Over walkie-talkie) Bill, are you going blind? I'm flying. Bill: Oh, sorry, there's a guy that looked just like you flirting with a girl. Ralph: Well, good thing he's can't hear you. He'd be slapped for trying to use that pick-up line.
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Post by MelMac on Oct 19, 2005 18:14:10 GMT -5
Bill (singing): "We got a right to pick a little fight (...) If anyone fights any one of us, he's got to fight with me." See, I even have my sherrif's badge. Boy, Ralph, I love playing cowboys and bad guys. Ralph: Uh, Bill, that's your FBI badge, not a sheriff's star, and this is a dojo, not the Ponderosa. (The (...) was put there because it'd give away the joke too early )
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Post by MelMac on Oct 19, 2005 21:40:23 GMT -5
Since the original series theme is musical, I'm using the movie version. Bill: "... Desparado, rough rider, no you don't want nada. ..." Villicana: Will you cut it out with the rappin' Maxwell? You're too old for that stuff. Besides, you ain't no Jim West. Bill: Hey, I got the glasses and the hat, so I look just as cool as the guy in the movie. And Villicana, I can rap if I want to, I'm driving this train. Ralph: Bill, that's not a gambler hat. It looks like a train ran over it. Villicana: Maxwell, since when is a bus a train? Bill: Well, it does say Wanderer on it.
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Post by MelMac on Oct 20, 2005 17:39:21 GMT -5
Ralph: Bill, what happened? You look like you fell down a flight of stairs. Bill: Not quite kid. Why did you put the ottoman in the middle of the room? You're supposed to rest your feet on it, not do gymnastics on it. I tripped over it, and now my clothes are all messed up, and my head's spinning. Ralph: I didn't leave the ottoman in the center of the room. Bill: If you didn't, then who did? ... Tony (off pic, thinking): I finally got Maxwell back for commandeering the Piranha just to get a hamburger.
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 21, 2005 20:09:43 GMT -5
[ ] Bill: You have the body of a Venus. Guy in drag: Lord, imagine your suprise. Bill: Let me take a peak, dear.
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 22, 2005 15:23:55 GMT -5
[ ] Pam: Bill, I think I would die if you were to ignore me...I'd do anything for you." Bill: You and every other dame, sweetheart.
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 22, 2005 23:44:00 GMT -5
[ ] Bill: I can't stand this indecision married with a lack of vision. [ ] Ralph: One headline why believe it? Bill: Nothing ever lasts forever. Pam: Everybody wants to rule the world, Ralph.
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Post by MelMac on Oct 24, 2005 21:01:07 GMT -5
Bill: Ralph, we're lost, this is the gift shop and tourist center of the entertainment industry. Where are the animals? Ralph: Sorry, (pointing) that's the way to the zoo. Bill: You're a lot like a monkey, you keep going bananas. Pam: Well Bill, the monkey house is nearly full, but there's room enough for you. (Believe it or not, this is based on a song. )
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Post by MelMac on Oct 25, 2005 18:13:34 GMT -5
(To show that I'm not too archaic with songs ): Ralph: There, you're tie's straight. Now remember, you're meeting her at the station. You can be there at 4:30, cause I made your reservation. Don't be slow, Bill. Bill: Don't worry. I'll make sure I'm at the station. I just hope she can hear me in that noisy railroad station all alone. If I get there on time, we can have "coffee flavored kisses and a bit of conversation." Come on Ralph, I've had some strange dates, but at a railroad station? Remind me to tell you to not let Pam set me on blind dates anymore. It's no fun when they have to travel to see me, whether from San Francisco or Clarksville.
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Post by MelMac on Oct 27, 2005 0:07:45 GMT -5
Will you quit making fun of my height, Bill. I am not short and stout. I was just brining you a glass of tea. Well, serves you right. You keep telling me that when I get all steamed up to shout tip me over and pour me out. I do keep my cool most of the time Ralph. Besides, I don't like tea. (Silly song, and probably doesn't make sense. )
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Post by MelMac on Oct 27, 2005 19:05:22 GMT -5
Ralph: Any note you can hold I can hold longer. Bill: I can hold any note longer than you. Ralph: No you can't. Bill: Yes, I can. Ralph: No you can't. (Pause) Bill, you're supposed to sing the note, not hold your breath. Pam (Thinking): I hope Ralph doesn't say he can wear a girdle if Bill says he can jump a hurdle. This rhyming and one-upmanship game is getting to be silly.
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Post by MissDavidson on Oct 27, 2005 22:23:17 GMT -5
Bill: Well wouldja lookit. . .that's the Counselor up there. . . Ralph:Ten dollars says she won't crash-land.
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Post by MissDavidson on Oct 27, 2005 22:28:16 GMT -5
"I'm also available for bar mitzvahs, graduation parties. . .that sorta thing."
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Post by MissDavidson on Oct 27, 2005 22:43:14 GMT -5
Bill: (through clenched teeth) Ralph, are you sure I don't have any spinach in my teeth?
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Post by MelMac on Oct 27, 2005 23:17:53 GMT -5
Bill: Counselor, I want a Big Mac, McBLT, a Quarter Pounder with some cheese, a Filet o' Fish, a cheesburger, a hamburger, a Happy Meal, for you of course Ralph. ... Ralph: Very funny, Bill. Pam (over walky-talky): Bill, you may think I'm third string utility backup, but I'm not going to be a walking food trolley. Ralph: I told you Bill you shouldn't recite the whole menu to Pam. (I remember the records they sent out for a contest. Why I remember half of it considering this was 18 years ago, I don't know. )
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Nov 2, 2005 18:48:58 GMT -5
[ ] Ralph: How many times has HD used this picture in a caption posting? Bill: I think it is safe to say that he has jumped the shark on this one.
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Nov 3, 2005 14:10:39 GMT -5
[ ] Bill: Ralph, why are you looking at me like that? Ralph: You're dating my mom and you were supposed to have her home an hour ago. Pam: Calm down, Ralph. They ARE adults...and your mother is mature. Bill: Gee thanks, Counselor. [ ] Ralph: I wanna know where you were and what you were doing. Bill: You do, huh? Tough. Ralph: Bill, I do have the suit. [ ] Bill: Easy there, kiddo. We had a nice dinner and a quiet drive around town. Ralph (off-pic): She used to live here...what did you show her? How your handcuffs work? [ ] Bill: Our job is busting morons, not being morons. All I can say about your mother and our night together: [ ] IN ODE TO BILLSWOMAN AND HER STORY.
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Nov 3, 2005 14:14:15 GMT -5
[ ] Ralph: Bill, I'm so sorry. Was that your foot?
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