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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 27, 2006 16:48:43 GMT -5
Well, thanks. I always have trouble deciding what to say before I go to bed...I mean, after all: Who wants to talk to their wife? Now I can talk to God...and you even scripted it for me. Thanks. Not to make light of it...I am very impressed by your directness and logical approach from your religious standpoint. I hope that your message continues to go over well wherever you deliver it. *A Pu$$ycat walks in* Why don't you start by aiming it over there? I am sure she had a long night. God Bless You All.
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Post by billswoman on Oct 27, 2006 23:08:25 GMT -5
1. Have you ever told a lie? Even if it was a little “white lie”. Yes.
2. Have you ever stolen anything? Regardless of the value of the item. Yes.
3. Have you ever used God’s name as a curse word or to express disgust? Yes.
Guess I'm on that rocket-sled to [glow=red,2,300]H-E-double hockey sticks[/glow] ain't I?
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Post by jopierce on Oct 28, 2006 10:33:14 GMT -5
If so, then answer these questions honestly and carefully:
1. Have you ever told a lie? Even if it was a little “white lie”.
I'll swap stories and trade lies all night long, if you're buying...
2. Have you ever stolen anything? Regardless of the value of the item.
A coupla hearts, yes. But then again, I may have also bought 'em. You know. You broke it, you bought it...[/b]
3. Have you ever used God’s name as a curse word or to express disgust?
Not disgust. Maybe in the heat of the moment. See questions one and two. 4. Have you ever seen something that someone else had and thought, “I wish I had something like that. I wish I could afford the stuff they get.”
That's why I work nights....
Hey! HD! You pointing at me???
MEOW!!!
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Post by MST3Claye on Oct 28, 2006 13:05:28 GMT -5
Some wanted to see what my MiSTing of fanfiction or lame postings is like. Here ya go. BTW, I'm religious so I tried to hold off on any sacreligious parts.
Greatest American Hero Theater 3000 ------------------------------------------------
<Bill, Ralph and Pam enter the theater.>
>Do you think that you’re a good person? Good enough to go to >heaven?
Bill: I KNOW I'm a good person! I work for the FBI and do things by the book! Ralph: Well, I assume I'm a good person. They gave me the suit and all.
>Do you think that God sees you as good enough to enter heaven?
Pam: One would hope so. Bill: I'm sure this fella is gonna tell us! He must be one of those higher ups or somethin'!
>If so, then answer these questions honestly and carefully:
Bill: Do I get a number two pencil? Ralph: I don't think this would classify as a legit test. I've never seen it at school.
>1. Have you ever told a lie? Even if it was a little “white lie”.
Pam: Not in my line of work. Bill: Kids, because of this little test. I'm gonna have to admit something. Ralph: Oh boy. What is it Bill? Bill: Santa Claus isn't real. Ralph: BILL! Pam: Children are reading this post! How could you do that??
>2. Have you ever stolen anything? Regardless of the value of the >item.
Bill: Only when it was official gubment business. J. Edgar Hoover gave me that right so take it up with him.
>3. Have you ever used God’s name as a curse word or to express >disgust?
Ralph: No, because the network wouldn't allow it.
>4. Have you ever seen something that someone else had and >thought, “I wish I had something like that. I wish I could afford the >stuff they get.”
Pam: Who hasn't? Bill: Hey Ralph, you sure that suit won't work if I put it on? I think I could fly straight if it gave me a shot. Ralph: No, Bill.
>If you have done any of these things, then by your admissions, >according to God’s standards, you are not good enough to go to >heaven.
Bill: By his standards and your judging of us, pal! Pam: Isn't there also something in the bible about not judging people?
> And these are only 4 of the Ten Commandments, found in >Exodus 20 in the old testament of the Bible! > >So, if on Judgement Day, God judges you based on the 10 >commandments, do you think you’re going to be found innocent or >guilty?
Pam: Remember the term Haebeus Corpus? Bill: That won't exist anymore in a few years. Ralph: I don't see the point of this since the author has already called us guilty.
>Well, you say, “I’ve done more good things than bad in my life”. >That doesn’t matter. If you were in a trial of court for commiting a >crime, would the Judge let you off just because you had done >many good things before the trial?
Pam: IF you committed the crime and were found guilty by a jury of people. Remember, I work with this kind of stuff. I don't think you do.
> No. He would still punish you for >commiting the crime. That’s because the law would require you to >pay a penalty for the crime. > > >By the same token, God’s law still requires that a penalty be paid. >Good deeds can’t pay the debt.
Ralph: What's the point of even using this suit then?
>However, what if during that trial, what if someone you didn’t even >know came into the court room and took the punishment for you >so that you could be set free from the penalty of the crime?
Bill: I'm tired of this cheaply written drivel, kids. Let's get outta here. Ralph: Pam, should I use the suit anymore if it doesn't matter? Bill: YES! Pam: Ralph, good deeds still matter. What you're doing with the suit is something no one else living could possibly do. They chose you to wear it. No one else. Bill: Plus it makes my record look good. Let's go.
<Ralph, Pam and Bill leave the theater.>
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 28, 2006 13:40:32 GMT -5
GREAT WORK, Claye! You utilized the characters and the questions in such a way as to mesh them perfectly. I think we have a winner here...and there wasn't even a contest.
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Post by billswoman on Oct 29, 2006 14:48:11 GMT -5
LOL yea, and THAT is how it's done! I'm still kinda lost on the whole MST'ing thing, but you did a stellar job. And put that guest in his/her place. Judging, indeed. Pam told him a thing or three, didn't she?
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 29, 2006 23:30:04 GMT -5
LOL yea, and THAT is how it's done! I'm still kinda lost on the whole MST'ing thing, but you did a stellar job. And put that guest in his/her place. Judging, indeed. Pam told him a thing or three, didn't she? That's because she is always on the ball...the calming influence in a world of chaos.
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Post by MyTatuo on Oct 30, 2006 11:27:17 GMT -5
As a follower of The Gospel According to Ralph*, I am tolerant of all religions. However, I still had no qualms about banning that guest's IP address. Go figure. * "In Hinkley's name we pray - AUGH!"
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Post by HoudiniDerek on Oct 30, 2006 14:54:47 GMT -5
As a follower of The Gospel According to Ralph*, I am tolerant of all religions. However, I still had no qualms about banning that guest's IP address. Go figure. * "In Hinkley's name we pray - AUGH!" Nice touch. You think that person will come back to this bastion of non self-righteousness after reading all of our responses? Probably trying desperately to get a new IP address so they never have to come back to this heathen land.
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Post by Lauren on Nov 1, 2006 20:56:28 GMT -5
As a follower of The Gospel According to Ralph*, I am tolerant of all religions. However, I still had no qualms about banning that guest's IP address. Go figure. * "In Hinkley's name we pray - AUGH!" LoL! For those interested, there will be an instruction book study Saturday afterno-- What? What do you mean the book is gone? Augh! Ralph!
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Post by Lauren on Nov 1, 2006 20:57:50 GMT -5
That was a great MST, Claye! Very funny!
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