Post by Maxwell - F.B.I. on Dec 21, 2005 15:37:25 GMT -5
Things to do at the store while shopping during the holiday season:
1. Get boxes of hamster treats & randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell them, in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
6. Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
10. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to sob uncontrollably and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone???"
11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you take you contact lens out.
12. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes and X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the sporting good department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
15. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
16. Go into the fitting room, wait 5 minutes and yell "HEY! WE'RE OUT OF TOLIET PAPER IN HERE!!!"
17. In the automotive department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
18. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
19. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible".
20. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through, scream "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!".
21. Buy a soft drink at the food court. Tell them you don't get out much and ask if they would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.
22. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, snap into a fetal position and shriek "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
1. Get boxes of hamster treats & randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell them, in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
6. Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
10. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to sob uncontrollably and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone???"
11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you take you contact lens out.
12. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes and X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the sporting good department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
15. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
16. Go into the fitting room, wait 5 minutes and yell "HEY! WE'RE OUT OF TOLIET PAPER IN HERE!!!"
17. In the automotive department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
18. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
19. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible".
20. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through, scream "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!".
21. Buy a soft drink at the food court. Tell them you don't get out much and ask if they would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.
22. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, snap into a fetal position and shriek "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
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